Part 3 of 4. Life in the Post's NBA Preview Spectacle.

I know that you have been waiting for this. Since I am LitP's resident NBA analyst. I'm my own resident analyst for every sport for that matter. So here goes, remember, this is really what's going to happen this year. I promise. Thanks for doing this Jeff. No problem Zero. Without further ado...

East

Atlantic - Zero wants to say either Toronto or Philly here, so so bad. He just can't. He thinks Marcus Williams is gonna be a great compliment to Jason Kidd. Zero thinks that he will be considered for ROY. Plus they still have Vinsanity and RJ. Kristic is serviceable in the East at C. They have one of the Collins brothers, Zero thinks it's Phil. Zero just can't see anyone else in their division beating them enough times to make a difference. Plus, this is the East we're talking about here people. So, the Nets. 50 - 30.


Central - This is where things get a little sticky. Until the strip club incident, Zero was ready to ride the Pacers to the Conference Championship series. Now, not so much. They still have a yougn core, but there is more than basketball going on over there, which never ends up good. The Pistons are old and the Bucks are a year or 2 away. That leaves the Bulls and that other team. Your not gonna find any LeBron slurping during this preview. Yeah, he's good. Great. Awesome. Whatever word you want to use. Zero is enamored by the Baby Bulls. Zero knows they overpaid for Ben Wallace, Zero doesn't care. Hinrich, Deng, Gordon, Nocioni, Thomas, Sefolosha, Sweetney, Duhon. Pret-ty impressive. They believe in the system, they defend. They like each other. They have some vets that can play and no what is asked of them. Your number one seed in the East folks. The Chicago Bulls.

Southeast - The Hawks because they have Chris Paul. Oh, what. They didn't draft him. What? Has Zero been asleep? Who is running the Hawks? Anyway. The Heat. C'mon they have more star power than the Atlantic division does. This is just on one team. D-Wade is a leader, and he gets a lot of calls. Shaq is still Shaq. Hopefully Simien gets some burn. The Wizards close the gap even more this year. They win 10 less games. Gilber is slowly becoming poster child of Zero's site.

West

Southwest - Like Prince says, this division bores me. It probably doesn't but the Spurs seem to bore everything up. Speaking of the Spurs, they didn't get any younger. So why should Zero believe they are gonna win this division. Mavs win 57 games. Everyone there is happy, not content, but happy. Hell, Zero'd be that happy too if he got to hang out in those locker rooms. Watch out for NOOCH. Houston and their sizzupr will be alright if everyone can stay healthy.

Northwest - This is the Year of the KG. Foye, KG, Rick Davis, Mike James, McCants when he gets back. Zero doesn't really see anyone in this division challenging them. Denver is gonna self destruct this year. Look for George Karl to be gone after the All-Star Break. Too many issues going on a mile in the air. Portland is young, too young. Roy and Aldridge will be fun to watch though.

Pacific - This division is pretty big time. Supposedly, 24 is gonna be back for opening night. We'll see. The Lakers need him so that Smoosh and Far-mar don't have to share the load. The Clippers are for real. And then, there is Phoneix. They're too good. They win the division and 60 games.

Conference Champs
East - Heat in 7 over the Bulls.
West - Suns in 6 over the Wolves.

NBA Champs - Suns in 7. This is finally the year.

MVP - KG. You wanna talk about averaging a triple double, this is the guy that could do it. He, more than anyone else in the past 10 years has revolutionized the game as we know it. How many guys 6'10" can handle the ball now. Why? KG. He's a five tooler. He brings it every night and you know what your gonna get. They are finally putting some people that can play around him, which will benefit him more than you can imagine. Plus, he was in Asia all summer doing promo and getting his head right. He is gonna be more focused than ever and it's gonna help that Randy Foye is gonna play Robin to KG's Batman. Plus, he can do this....


ROY - Jason Kidd gets hurt. Marc Williams finishes second in one of the closest ROY ballots ever. The winner is...


Most Improved - I mean...I wanna pick STAT, but I'm gonna pass. It will be this guy.



Coach of the Year - Whoever the coach of the T'Wolves is. Zero thinks it's Dwayne Casey. He doesn't really want to look it up. Any coach that takes their squad from not in the playoffs to the Finals is ok in my book.

6th Man -Charlie Bell. Flintstones.

Defensive POY - Ron-Ron.

Scoring Leader - King James. 34.3 a night. Let's just hope Damon Jones gets his every night out too.

Biggest Team Cancer - Um, Chris Webber.

Most Shocking Season Headline - "LeBron Impregnates LaLa." or "Hawks Sign Byer to 2-Year Deal; Much Needed Backcourt Help." or "Nash-Nowitzki-D'Antonio-Bryant Love Sqaure Exposed."

Biggest Name that is Traded - I say that Paul Pierce is shipped. Back to GS for Jason
Richardson and change. P Squared, B Diddy, and The Game can now do all the West Coast Gang Banger stuff that they want.

Best Offseason Pick Up - Mike James.

Anything else you want the world to know....

LeBron James never is gonna have a chance to model for Sean John.

Bust a move.